That thing again

There's this thing. I can't name it. I don't have words to describe it. But I've seen it. I remember the first time I felt it and I've been trying to get to it again ever since.

I go about my life, I don't always think about it. But when I do, man the ache! It's like the floodgates open and I stand there in shock like it's the first time it's ever happened to me. I'm taken by surprise each time anew.

I've seen it come in many shapes and forms. Different colors and hues. It's path isn't one of right or wrong. It's trajectory is never traceable and has forever been elusive.

I've seen it in shul on Simchas Torah, the dance floor at the club, the people I've met. I see it it the holy books and the ones others would scourn at. It shines both in the dark and the light.

It exists in all good and bad, in the mundane and in the pure. It's essence never changes. It shows up at many walls, stones & faces and also in the abyss.

It doesn't ask to be invited, it just shows up. Comes and goes when it wants. And many times I don't even realize it's there, most times actually.

Sometimes strangers see it first. And that can be shameful. Yet it's meant for the world to share

It's easy to get lost in what triggers it, but that isn't it either. At the same time tho, more often then not its roar comes from one direction.

It can wake me up at night and put me to bed at the same time. It drives me crazy and gives me tremendous clarity.

It's this thing.

The thing beyond the thing.

me.

איש